When All of You Have Passed

When all of you have passed, you’ll be sitting around, or floating around, or whatever it is one does after one passes, and someone will ask, “Hey, where’s Nagler?”  And you’ll say, “He didn’t pass.”

“What, he failed?”

No, he just didn’t pass.  He… I’ll spell it.  He D-I-E-D.”

“What?”

“He didn’t pass.  He doesn’t exist anymore.”

“Are you kidding?  Can you do that?”

“Apparently.”

 “Well why the hell did he do that?”

“Nagler didn’t believe in passing.  He believed in … you know … the “D” word.”

“He believed in dea…?”

“SHUSH!!  Don’t say that word.  I’m told if you say the… you know… the “D” word enough times it will happen to you.”

“Really?  Come on.”

“Just like Nagler.  He… he didn’t pass.”

 

“That’s friggin stupid.  Why would you want to… you know… when you could pass like everyone else?”

“I’ll miss him.”

“Me too.  What is he, just like atoms in the Universe now?”

“I guess.”

“I don’t want to think about it.  Hey, what do you want to do tonight?”

“Night?”

“Night… day… whatever it is here in this place of transition.  It’s just an expression.  What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.  What do you want to do?”

“We could go down to the Tomato Ballroom.”

“You wanna?”

“I don’t know.  You wanna?”

When I was young they didn't used to say 'cancer'. They said 'C'. It was a way to hold off the fear. I've been taking workshops that suggest it's OK to welcome fear. "Hello fear". And when the fear goes to say goodbye to it. Some of that fear is just energy, like the fear at the top of a roller coaster. Some of it can be transformed to Feel Everything And Rejoice. And some can be F**K Everything And Run. But whichever, it's a real emotion and I'd rather feel it than 'pass' on it. My two cents. As I come closer to it I become less often afraid to die.